Jack’s Goal Line Stand

It’s Thursday evening during Lent, so we’re headed out for a burger at Jack’s Goal Line Stand on Brighton Avenue in Long Branch. We’ve been here to eat at least a half-dozen times for assorted pub food, mostly burgers and wings, though we’ve also tried other appetizers as well as their excellent Reuben.

Jack’s is a popular mainstay among Long Branch sports fans. It’s owned by Nick and Tim, who is a former Monmouth University football player. Upon opening the big wooden church-like doors, guests have numerous bars to choose from: the long, main bar that runs along the entire right side of the pub, or a smaller, self-contained rectangular bar to the left, abutted by various high-tops.

There is plenty of bar to belly up to; Jack’s also offer a variety of other seating options, including the high tops, plus bar side tables. There’s an adjoining seating area in the very back of the pub, with both high-tops and low tables, that are suitable for groups and tonight, for a children’s birthday party.

We’ve sat at all of these locations in the past, but today we are placed in the back room, where assorted children are eating tiny birthday cakes while trying to grab something good at the play-‘til-you-win magic claw games. There is a lot of screaming and crying over the crappy toys, both of which I could love not hearing. I know it’s also a restaurant, but alls I’m saying is please don’t take your children to a bar for their birthday. I spent the ‘70s sitting on barstools next to my dad, drinking Shirley Temples and playing air hockey, and I ended up like this. Caveat emptor, parents. Go to Chuck E. Cheese.

Mounted to every possible surface here are 50 televisions, tuned to every sport anyone (in New Jersey) would want to watch. Currently, it’s March Madness. Those surfaces too low for TVs are adorned with black-and-white framed photographs of sports stars like Bill Parcells, Dick Butkus, Vince Lombardi, Tom Seaver, Joe Namath, Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, and Sam Huff. J knows them all and told me their names.

Our waitress Emily comes by, and we order a couple of beers from their very, very ample menu of on-tap and bottle options. I get a Kona Big Wave and Jeannine gets an Asbury Ale. Jack’s also has a huge cocktails and martinis menu, with drinks you’d likely find in more upscale venues, like the Love Letter, featuring Tito’s vodka, hibiscus lemonade, and foamy egg white, topped with edible flowers. Fancy!

Because we’ve arrived early, the waitress also drops the Happy Hour menu on our table. It’s offering discounted bites with the purchase of a cocktail, Monday-Friday from 4-7 p.m. Plus $1 off beers.

We peruse the assorted options, from pretzel bites to sliders to Li-L Nachos, but we take a pass. Until we see the special Thursday Wings & Slider Night menu. There’s lots of different iterations of wings and various flavors of tiny burgers available for assorted prices. We’re almost headed to Sliderville, then both realize we want a full-sized burger. So, we get the Happy Hour Buffalo Wings deal, which has two more wings for the same price as the regular order.

We’re sipping our beers when the wings arrive 10 minutes later, with our requested sides of both ranch and blue cheese (but no celery or carrots). There are more wings in the order—but they’re also a little old and dried out. We eat them all anyway but make a note to forego the discount wings in the future.

For our meals, we’ve both ordered burgers. To be fair, Jack’s huge menu offers a ton of appetizers, soups, salads, gourmet pizzas, assorted sandwiches, wraps, tacos, burritos, steak bites, chicken tenders, and wings out the wing-wang. But Jack’s specialty has always been their big, juicy 10 oz. Pick & Roll burgers, hot off the grill.

J gets her usual: the All-American Burger with lettuce, tomato, onion, and American cheese, with a side of Tater Tots. I get the Irishman Burger, with smoked cheddar, Jameson bacon & onion chutney, and crispy fried onions—a heartburn special. Emily steers me toward the delicious, thin shoestring fries. You can also get house fries, waffle fries, a veggie, or a side salad. But how is that fun?

The burgers come out in 15 minutes, and they look a bit different from in the past: bigger, with a giant, seeded roll. J’s All American is proclaimed as having, “more pickles than before.” My Irishman’s burger is literally larded with Jamison’s bacon jam and overflowing with fried drizzled onions. There’s lots of cheddar as well.

I take a good bite, and despite all those onions, it’s not too greasy. And right away, I remember why we keep coming back to Jacks. The burger is great. We each eat half our burgers, steal each other’s tots and shoestring fries, and allocate some bits with which to bribe the dog for leaving him at home.

We ask for to go containers and the bill. Emily brings the check, and it’s $65 for burgers, wings, and beers. I note the $2 upcharge for tots. Still, it was lots of tots. All in all, it’s not too terrible. It’s a quick, loud dinner with way more kids around than I originally anticipated (anticipated children = zero) but we’re happy to venture back into the night in time to watch Ghosts.

In the summertime, Jack’s sets up a discrete corner outside bar in the corner of the parking lot, flush with the railroad tracks. It’s a shipping container turned bar called Chupacabra where you can drink beers and eat tacos with your dog, while listening to live music and watching trains pass by. It’s a great spot for outdoor trainspotting vibes. Last year, a full-time Chupacabra Taqueria opened in the space where Richard’s Deli was, abutting Jack’s. We look forward to the summertime outpost.

On the way to your car in the surrounding parking lots, check out the sports murals by Jack’s back entrance, featuring legends like Lawrence Taylor, Derek Jeter, and Joe “Can I Kiss You” Namath. Careful backing out in this tight lot, and remember, don’t drink and drive!

Jack’s Goal Line Stand  
149 Brighton Avenue
Long Branch, NJ 07740
732-870-8800
jacksgoallinestand.com

Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday 11 a.m.-12 a.m.
Tuesday, Friday, Saturday 11 a.m.-2 a.m.

Save a Few Clams

There’s lots of ways to save every day at Jack’s. In addition to the small bites and discounted beers at daily Happy Hour time, you can come on Mondays for $6 margaritas and three tacos for $10. Tuesday is Monmouth University night, with drink and snack specials for college kids. On Wednesdays, snag their Prime Rib Special for $29, with discounted martinis available. It’s also Ladies Night, with music, bingo, and line dancing. There’s that Thursday night wings and sliders menu, plus 8 p.m. karaoke with DJ Gill. Friday night features live music, and Saturdays are bingo with a dance party.