Porta

On a busy June evening after the Asbury Pride Parade, we meet friends for pizza at Porta, a popular restaurant located directly behind the storied Stone Pony. We were pre-gaming for a fun evening of entertainment there with Bertha, the Grateful Dead drag queen tribute band.

Porta is one of our faves for unexpected pizzas, salads, and appetizers. We’ve been there a half-dozen times; we even held our bachelorette party there, followed by dancing at the nearby Paradise nightclub. Here’s some photos from that special night:

Porta is part of the Smith Restaurant Group, which includes Homesick, Lovesick, and Pascal & Sabine, reviewed earlier by Shore Tastes Great. Porta has additional locations in Montclair and Jersey City.

The restaurant is a sprawling space with communal tables and benches flanking the entire right side. A mélange of old doors (portals—see where this is going?) are hung along the far wall. In the back, a long bar is topped with twinkling fairy lights. There’s another long, square bar right in front of the hostess stand, which always seems to be staffed by the most disagreeable young person they can find. Why? I don’t know, but that’s an action item for improvement right there.

After a brief fight with the (rotating but always angry) hostess over the reservation we definitely did have and the seats we definitely did not want (she wanted to seat us either in the booming outside DJ area or at a towering four top despite our collective tiny legs) we sat down at one of the shared tables, where it was a bit quieter.

The restaurant has an outdoor patio that is always hopping, with DJs like Tone Setta, DJ Kel, J Soul and more scheduled for this summer. It’s awesome for those who like it loud and hot, but not as great for those who are older and trying to catch up on conversations with friends, like we are.

It’s always inexplicably dark inside Porta, and always loud, because it’s one of the few spots on the beach big enough to accommodate larger groups. There’s always lots of kids, and always lots of drunks. A winning combination!

The drinks menu is admittedly good, though. The cocktails include the White Door, with grapefruit vodka, OJ and prosecco; the Jersey Tomato with gin and heirloom tomato syrup; the Paradiso with rye and pineapple; the Honey Bee with gin and blueberry-honey syrup, and more cleverly named potent potables. The wine selections are well-curated and about $11 a glass, and the draft beer list includes Dogfish Head Grateful Dead, Birdsmouth Mexican Lager, Downeast cider, Fiddlehead IPA, Carton IPA, and Peroni Italian pilsner, which I order. It’s my fit this summer. There’s also a dozen bottled beers to choose from.

The dinner menu changes seasonally, but it’s always both somehow compact and simultaneously full of options. This summer, you can choose from appetizers like marinated olives, summer tomatoes, prosciutto e melone, arancini rice balls, broccoli rabe, fried calamari, Italian sausage with San Marzano tomatoes. There are two stunning salads: the Bibb, with gorgonzola, roasted walnuts and apricot vinaigrette; and the Three Trees, with radicchio, Belgian endive, arugula, roasted prosciutto, toasted almonds, pear, and rosemary-shallot vinaigrette.

We start off our meal with a Three Trees salad and a roast artichoke hearts appetizer. In the past, friends have ordered the house made ricotta with EVOO and bread, the giant meatballs with Pecorino Romano and San Marzano tomatoes, and the sprawling Pan-Roasted Day Boat Octopus with fennel and fingerling potatoes.

Me, I don’t eat octopus anymore after seeing that movie and realizing they are tiny aliens from outer space that are way smarter than we are. But here’s a creepy photo from that time my friends ordered it:

Porta offers pastas, like Pomodoro, Cacio e Pepe, Orecchiette, Pesto Risotto, Linguine with Clams, and ‘Monday Night’ ricotta gnocchi. I’m sure I’ve tasted them at some point, and I’m sure they were good. But the big draw at Porta is the crispy artisanal pizzas, roasted in a pair of sky-blue wood-fired pizza ovens located in the back of the restaurant.

They’re only 12 inches, but as most ladies will tell you, that’s more than adequate. They currently offer a dozen iterations, plus a garlicky focaccia. Interesting picks include the Betty Pie with goat cheese and tomatoes; the Italian Stallion with sausage, gorgonzola, and long hots; and It’s Corn, with you guessed it, fire-roasted corn. I have helpfully cropped the pizza menu and included it below for your perusal.

We chose the meatball pizza and we also redeem a Kiwanis club coupon for Porta’s nearly perfect Margherita pizza, with tomatoes, mozzarella, Parmigiano Reggiano, basil and EVOO. There are also a couple of dairy-free and vegan options and really, I do feel for your medical condition and/or poor food choices, but yuck. Just stay home and let us eat our cheese in peace.

If you’re super hungry, they also have eggplant and chicken parms, plus roasted branzino fish with sea salt and cracked black pepper. There’s also a desserts menu for those with a sweet tooth, which includes all the usual suspects: gelatos, cheesecake, tiramisu, and flourless chocolate cake. I’m sure they’re toothsome, but I can’t say I’ve ever tried any of them.

Whenever we go to Porta, despite the noise and the expensive, tiny pies, and the abysmal teenage monsters they have working there, it’s always a good time. The hustle and bustle are invigorating, the shoddy décor and high prices combine to make you remember to not take yourself or life too seriously, and when you finally stumble out into the night, you’re only steps from the beach and several seriously good music venues.

Which is exactly what we do: roll on out to the boardwalk, where my wife and friends make plans for our next get-together while I pre-game the Grateful Dead show by smoking an entire joint by myself, leaning against a giant pair of candy-colored headphones. Asbury Park is a fun town, but far from perfect. Porta is a fitting comparable to that equation.

Porta
911 Kingsley St.
Asbury Park, NJ 07712
732-776-7661
Pizzaporta.com

Sunday-Thursday 12-11 p.m.
Friday 12 p.m.-1:30 a.m.
Saturday 12 p.m.-12 a.m.

Save a Few Clams

Happy Hour is a hot ticket at Porta. Tuck into discount focaccia, mozzarella, ricotta, and meatballs for $5-8, and wash them down with select beers for $5, Porta white or red wine for $7/$20, and all specialty cocktails for $10.

Help charity by purchasing the Asbury Park Eat. Here. Now coupon book to benefit the Kiwanis Club and redeem a coupon for a free Margarita Pizza with a $25 purchase at Porta.